An Advice That Was Not Asked
By Keziah
Now that I am 34, in my lifetime, there are friends that come and go. Friends who do not stay for some reason (glad for them to be gone anyways), friends I wish I can delete and unmeet, friends who are busybodies, friends who genuinely care, my pet peeve: friends that give advice without getting the chance to know me more before they give me advice.
I am a work in progress. I am independent. As that friend says, “I am smart!” So, why give that advice? It’s not like you broadcast your resume to people of what you have done and what you have not. (I can broadcast though, I am just a QUIET and a PEACEFUL person.) Mostly what she said, I’ve already accomplished, and do I need to continue what “GOOD” I’m doing? Of course, I need to! That is why you need to be quiet (I and her need to be quiet) it’s not that it is going to be overnight. It’s going to come! My resources will be on my side next time. She is going to be frustrated her advice was not met because I am not budging if you always nudge me and being so impatient. It’s not like it’s a race and it’s overnight. It seemed like I am not doing good in the congregation because this was brought up. Advice like to be a better wife work on qualities. For example, she said if you like to work on giving, give to the friends. The little ones in the congregation. I brought up being lazy in the conversation. Because I need primarily and foremost to work on myself before I need to help others one at a time with these that needs to be accomplished. Do you think I did not already look and was thinking of that? If I must when I have money I will have a gift-giving party with all toys with the kids in the congregation!
I am frustrated and feel like doing a bad job just being there and not doing anything for the kids since this was brought up. Do you think you can blame me for the way I feel? No, because it needs planning before I can attack (on the things needs to be accomplished). I just feel sort of a justification that she just doesn’t know what I already have done to the kids in my previous congregation. And in my memory bank, they were grateful for their little gifts.
It’s going to come. Just wait and see boys and girls. You will have more than what I gave from my previous congregation because we’re going to be stuck with each other for a looooonger time.
Unwanted Advice on Marriage
I, KEZIAH EMIA, promise not to tell no one anymore about WHO- I like.
I am on an outrage with this. It is hard to determine who I can tell my emotions to and who can be trusted. It is supposed to be not an issue because you should and can trust congregation members. When was I embarrassed by someone on who I can tell who I like and not have issues with advising me and them giving crazy ideas in what I need to do? I never have an issue with someone doing that. When I was having a crush on someone. But there are just people, or your friends change that you sometimes think, “should I say it or not?”
“But I am sorry I became stupid to TELL YOU who I like.”
Do you see how silly that arrangement of a statement is? Understanding the fact that friends change? So we should resolve to yield. Think before you speak and be mindful of what the person already know and do not know and be discerning or there is just a hint of your sarcasm and insult on your tone of a conversation.
Now …..
I, KEZIAH EMIA, will avoid you who seek out as who to entertain my friends because of awkwardness.
I am going to SIFT through who in my friend's list is worthy to know of my shenanigans. From reading a book, going through my “period” times (yes, I want a friend who can share my misery and discomfort of being a woman), having a binge watch of movies, window shopping, online shopping, moving, junk food goody cravings and just having a girl on girl talk while doing things.
I know this... the ones who constantly want to want to hang and I refuse would really get mad at me. Because they want my company and I must shut it because of past experiences or dealings with a controlling friend.
You know how you are in yourself and we're supposed to be mindful of feelings not condescending with advice that was never asked. And it would be priceless to continue our friendship. But you just have to voice out your opinions that is not solicited. Bear in mind, “An UNSOLICITED Advice Turns to Insult”.
She just has to put her 2 cents in.