A Tale To Tell

A Tell To Tale

By Keziah Emia

For everything under the sun, why do I have to go under gloomy skies of depression? A thing you don’t know about me is, I have it. I have been diagnosed with Major Depression from 14 years of age and has been taking medication ever since. It is a traumatic turn in my life migrated straight out of the country of the Philippines only to move in an unfamiliar place. I must start from scratch: friends, an adopted attitude towards people, culture, and to desensitize myself to the permanent place to live.

Our Family

To tell you honestly, we were all hit by depression. Mom, dad and one of my brother. But I was the only one reacted overly to it. I can’t stand injustice. I can’t stand favoritism, an act of bribe, and above all else bullying. And all these unnerving reactions to CONFRONT in my mind was not going to be assured by my parents who are not combative (MEANING THEY JUST CAN'T SAY WHATEVER THEY LIKE AND REBUTLE). They let the situation be. And, “God can handle it.”, according to my dad.  “What can we do?”, according to my mom. I am not combative either, but it just gets under my skin to let just everybody say something degenerate my family’s moral. And to be peaceable was above important that my parents set an example to us. I should do the same.

I have also personal issues to deal with. The disappointment, cannot live up to responsibilities because of my weight. Shutting everybody out, gloomy days, mood swings, given up and wanting to lose everything was just the tip of the iceberg.

My Story

Depression affects me indefinitely through and through. Since my reactions are SILENT AND NONEXISTENT from everybody else because I just SMILE and pretend nothing happen, I’ve lived myself a big patch of discouragement. And the only thing that I BLAME IS “ME” according to everybody else I only must blame me because I let it get to me. How would you react if you have chosen to go a path just to sacrifice “the queen” if it were a chess piece? Not a usual reaction you would get. To screen off the VALUE of friends from you. Somebody told me I was trying to be a hero when all I did was doing what I know to show them to let them feel and regret when I am gone. If all the commentaries that they like to say to me such as: “you’re an exemplary to the congregation”, “you’re commendable”, “Beautiful Kay”, we’re all true. Hardly believable!

So, I want to get my hands dirty too. They backstab, they scheme, they talk about you, they are so glamorous about achievements. Their kids only talk about getting married and have babies. And the encouragement of these parents to do these things was only putting a weight on my heart. They need parental suggestions from the Bible. Totally out of the spectrum of reach from my parent’s advocacy in our family. True, we're not all raised and brought up the same. But shouldn’t we scratch that out and let what we LEARN INITIALLY SPEAK INTO OUR HEARTS?

The Solution

As for the solution to these I said it before, I will say it again: There must be divine intervention that can erode these people out of my life and never let me see them again! Honestly, it was a blessing came true.